“May we husbands choose to be Joseph to our wives!” ~ Saint Michael The Archangel, Bulletin, July 24, 2016
“Before I formed you
in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart” ~ Jeremiah
1:5
Uh, oh! Dare I mention it?! Natural Family Planning. Yikes!!!
I’m sure many readers
cringed at the very thought or that many potential readers were turned away.
But before I begin, this post is not meant to push my opinions on others, nor
is it meant to judge others who choose a more secular form of birth
control. Rather, in honor of National
NFP week, it is meant to shed light on Natural Family Planning (NFP) as a means
for natural birth control and pregnancy achievement, and why I think it is so
beautiful.
I was first inspired to reflect on this method when I
noticed a captivating article in the Church Bulletin at Saint Michael Catholic
Church in Monroe, Michigan. The article very
briefly explained the postulations of NFP and why it is so beautifully accepted
in regards to the Catholic Church’s teachings on marriage and sex. In essence, Natural Family Planning—or the
similar, but less religiously based, Fertility Awareness Method (FAM)—is the safest, most effective,
most natural method of avoiding and achieving pregnancy, when practiced correctly,
carefully and meticulously, of course.
One word is key here: NATURAL.
This method respects a woman’s body and considers the beauty and freedom
of married couple’s decisions to plan when to create the miracle of life.
However, our secular society praises the convenience of pill-popping and other
contraceptives for preventing pregnancy. Of course, it is much easier and
stress-free compared to the challenging method of NFP, especially when first
learning.
To be fair, I’ll be the first to admit that I once had my go
at unnatural birth control. It was easy
and took very little effort or mental focus. Who WOULDN’T want to take the
easiest route?! But, I also didn’t know who I was back then, and I’m not
exactly proud of my decision to do so, especially because I know that it is a
grave sin in my religion. In the short
time I did partake in this, and from discussions and observations with friends,
I did however, learn a lot from it. I
learned that the side effects of birth control aren’t exactly pleasurable. I learned that, as difficult as it truly is
to GET pregnant, our secular society sure does make it easy to avoid—which, in
my opinion, only condones the (DARE I SAY
IT?!) lazy behavior of our generation. And most importantly, I learned that popping
a pill every morning—as easy and stress free as it is—is the woman’s
responsibility and her responsibility alone.
No teamwork. No support. Just the woman.
And, what should happen in today’s society of double standards if an
unplanned pregnancy occurs? The majority of the responsibility and “mistake”
primarily falls on that of the woman.
I won’t go on much more about unnatural birth control
because that’s not the point of this post—nor do I want to attack individuals’ or
couples’ decisions to do so. Rather, I’d
like to enlighten others on why I think Natural Family Planning is so
beautiful. The Catholic Church supports
Natural Family Planning because married partners work together, rather than
placing sole responsibility on the woman.
The man is lovingly and respectfully involved, and couples are able to
learn and grow together physically, emotionally, and spiritually through various
stages of intimacy and chastity. Though
it is initially quite difficult to learn, when couples work together, the
relationship can only positively grow. I
won’t go into much detail about how the method—with all its intricacies and idiosyncrasies—actually
works because that would take FAR too long!
Track my temperature every day?!
Chart my cervical fluid?! (Yes, I just said cervical fluid…) But not to
worry, there is a plethora of books out there devoted to explicating just that,
as well as some amazing classes offered by Catholic Churches! Once
mastered, however, couples often feel a major sense of empowerment through
their dedication and commitment to each other.
In fact, I find a great sense of satisfaction when I help explain the
method (the little that I DO know!) to my friends who inquire.
Now, I know what some people might be thinking. “Those methods are a hoax. I know people who
still had unplanned pregnancies while practicing such methods.” Guess what?
My husband and I were one of those couples! Yes, the little miracle currently growing
inside of me (32 weeks and counting) was not planned, and I realized it was
because I misread my chart, my own signs of ovulation, and didn’t take into
account the changes my body made through travel. A woman’s body is so unique and there are so
many idiosyncrasies to take into account when truly mastering this method. It can truly be frustrating, and I’ll admit
there are days when I wish I could just take the easy way out. However, I know that wouldn’t make me feel
any better about myself. Though I do
feel like I have a pretty good understanding of fertility and pregnancy
achievement/avoidance, my husband and I still realize we have much to
learn! But, the great thing about
Natural Family Planning is that couples are always open to the miracle of life
whether it is planned or not. In our
case, God just decided to bless us sooner than we anticipated we were
ready. Then again, is anybody ever
really ready, though? Because THAT is a
whole different blog post on my emotional ups and downs and how horrified, yet
excited, I truly am! As my husband
always says: “Man plans, God laughs.”
Bottom line: the miracle of life is a beautiful gift from
God. Yes it’s scary and comes with a
roller coaster of emotions, but I also know that our baby was created in His
image and likeness. And it was done so
behind the equal support, openness, and efforts of my incredible, loving,
humble, and Godly husband. The article
in the bulletin beautifully describes the choice of husbands to either be Adam
or Joseph to their wives. It reads:
The choice for a husband is clear: he can be
his wife’s Adam or he can be her Joseph.
A man can stand by silently and allow his wife to suffer the physical
and spiritual consequences of contraception. Or he can defend her virtue, body,
and soul by using NFP. Today (in the
secular world), contraception is accepted and expected. Any man who forgoes it for NFP will likely be
exposed to ridicule and criticism. But
as St. Joseph taugh us, there are some things more important than the opinion
of others. May we husbands choose to be Joseph to our wives!
I am blessed to have a husband who chooses, without a second
thought, to be my Joseph. And, for us,
that is the way it should be.
God Bless!
